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Mudface
05 May 2020 @ 10:59 am
Okay.

This is for the wanderers-over.

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Mudface
06 August 2011 @ 12:06 pm
Wow, almost forgot my password. sads.
 
 
Mudface
02 October 2010 @ 10:58 am
still alive, and been meaning to update, but ridiculously busy. crazy busy. like the other day i read somewhere that when the attorney general first met his wife (at a party) she'd been working 120 hour weeks, and it actually made me irate, because first of all, keeping my current crazy schedule in mind, there's no way in hell. and secondly, what the fuck was bitch doing at a party if she's so busy? anyway, i think i'll go and click on some of you to make sure you're not dead. maybe one of these spare moments i'll properly update this thing.

for now, life in a nutshell: teach, take classes, work at the restaurant. every spare moment besides that seems to be devoted to showering, eating, sleeping, making sure my boyfriend remembers me, email, laundry, cleaning, worrying i'm forgetting something.
 
 
Mudface
29 July 2010 @ 11:53 pm
Plowing through my last summer class. SPED. I didn't really see the point at first, but now I get it. Special education has totally changed since I was in school. I'm still struggling to enjoy this class, though. I've been really trying to work the balance in (run, write, cook, etc.) but work and school have been consuming all my energy. I can't wait until it's over.

I started new blogs for all the random interests in my life: movies, teaching, perfume, everything. I know some of you indulge me, but it was starting to feel too chaotic writing about every unrelated interest all in one cumbersome place. If I were my friend, I'd be annoyed. So I made a little dumping point to polish and collect all my various whims. I'll try not to abandon this loyal little LJ, but it also seems a little bit part of my 20s-something self.

I've missed reading for a couple weeks. I'll try to find the time to catch up.
 
 
Mudface
16 July 2010 @ 12:37 am
What are five things you love about where you live and five things that you hate? How does it compare to previous places you've lived?




LOVE:

1. The weather! Hawaii in general and Makawao in particular have mind-bogglingly perfect weather. Pretty much every single day of the year at any given time it is somewhere between 70 and 90 - not too dry and not too humid and not a ton of rain.

2. It is stunningly beautiful. Like postcard beautiful everywhere you turn, from the beaches to the mountains. Up there with the most beautiful places in the world.

3. Between the diving, the hiking, the restaurants, and the beaches there is tons to do, and much of it involves being outside.

4. There is a a fascinating cultural diversity, and for the most part it's all super laid-back. The Japanese immigrants brought us great food and Buddhist temples. The Native Hawaiians brought us love of nature and family. The missionaries brought us charming country churches. The Paia hippies bring us vegan smoothies and bee pollen. I love what comes out of the melting pot. And for the most part, no one's in any hurry.

5. It's kid-friendly and safe. While there's an undeniable dark underpinning, overall, Maui is just a happy, carefree place to be. The kind of place you can (generally) leave your door unlocked and walk around at night - at least with less concern than on the mainland.

Bonus: Plumeria, gardenia, tuberose growing wild. Look to your right and see a whale. No snakes, but plenty of sea turtles. The sound of pidgin and local music.

DISLIKE:

1. Serious lack of live music. Color Me Badd is coming, for God's sake!

2. While I can't complain about the neighboring islands, there's literally NOTHING ELSE NEARBY. No taking off on a big road trip, no $100 flight to NYC, and (worst of all) no one's nearby to visit.

3. Cost of living. Insane.

4. Centipedes. And cockroaches.

5. The occasional taste of local aggro culture. Unfixed snarling pit bulls, rooster farms, ridiculous giant trucks.

Bonus: Public education. Arguably worst in the country. Especially concerning as I plan to make it my work environment, and should I have children, I would have serious conflicts of conscience.

How does Maui compare to other places I've lived?

Other places either weren't for me or were for me for the time being. Maui is the place I can most easily see myself growing old. It's the place I can most imagine finding my niche. It's very, very close to ideal. But as I've mentioned, there are some definite drawbacks.
 
 
 
Mudface
06 July 2010 @ 07:43 pm
Turns out I can't be bothered with the Couch to 5K program. It's too much looking at the clock. I prefer my counting songs system, because it's less thinking. And rather than watching the seconds tick down in agony, I can zone out and focus on the music.

So, going into my run (having not done much physical activity in two months or more) my plan was:

Walk one, Run three, Walk two, Run two, Walk one, Run one, Walk one. Done. I estimated that would turn out to be roughly 20 mins walking, 24 mins running and around 3.5 miles. (Slow jogging pace, brisk walk)

What I ACTUALLY did:

Walk one, Run three, Walk two, Run two, Walk two. Done. Which turned out to be exactly 22.13 mins walking, 18.04 mins running and roughly 3.10 miles. Not bad for being embarrassingly out of shape, but I gotta say, THAT HURT! I was seriously strategically choosing streets where people looked home just in case I had a heart attack in someone's front yard. My brain started hurting and I wondered if I was having an aneurysm. I'm still alive, so I guess I didn't.

I have a feeling I'll be sore tomorrow, but on Thursday I'll be ready for another go, and I'll try for the original plan again.
Tags:
 
 
Mudface
06 July 2010 @ 04:28 pm
Day 1. Any dietary restrictions?
Day 2. Your favorite sweet dish.
Day 3. Your favorite savory dish.
Day 4. Your preferred degree of spiciness.
Day 5. Your signature dish.
Day 6. Are/were you a picky eater?
Day 7. Your favorite fruit.
Day 8. Your preferred cooking technique.



I'm not sure how to answer this, because if I were to say something like braising or caramelizing that would imply that I know what I'm talking about. I've gone entire years without kitchens, and even now although I love my apartment overall, the kitchen is the worst aspect of it (one hot plate and large toaster oven). It's only relatively recently that I gained an appreciation for cooking at all, and even now my enthusiasm has been stilted by my lack of acceptable kitchens and sufficient cooking tools.

So to answer this, my preferred cooking technique is experimentation. I enjoy figuring out how to cut into a new fruit or veggie, starting with a recipe but then riding it off the rails a bit - checking Youtube for inspiration and guidance, www.whatthefuckshouldimakefordinner.com

Generally, I'm pretty lucky when trying out first-time recipes...but I suppose that's often because I don't shoot for the moon, making complicated things with utensils I don't have access to. (I've tried making curries without mortar and pestle and that's disastrous.) That's always a gratifying feeling - trying something for the first time and turns out scrumptious. Yeah, when I go all out cooking from scratch I generally prefer trying new things.

Day 9. The kitchen of your dreams.
Day 10. Your favorite local fast food place.
Day 11. Your favorite snack.
Day 12. Your favorite fast food dish.
Day 13. The first dish you've ever prepared.
Day 14. Your favorite vegetable.
Day 15. Your most spectacular cooking failure.
Day 16. Your favorite food preparation utensil.
Day 17. Meals planned in advance or spur-of-the-moment ideas?
Day 18. The favorite dish of your childhood.
Day 19. Least favorite dish.
Day 20. A food preparation secret you'd like to learn.
Day 21. Your favorite dairy product.
Day 22. Variety or routine?
Day 23. Your favorite herb[s] and spice[s].
Day 24. Your favorite local restaurant.
Day 25. Haute cuisine or home cooking?
Day 26. If money was of no concern, would your eating habits change?
Day 27. Your usual way of dealing with leftovers.
Day 28. Your favorite beverage on a hot summer day.
Day 29. Lots of small snacks or three square meals a day?
Day 30. Are you comfortable with your relationship with food?
Tags:
 
 
Mudface
1. It is mid-afternoon and I have only done one thing on my list of things to do today. Also I was craving Sour Patch Kids, so I just got up and bought some. Feel free to judge.

2. I have gotten, once again, pathetically out of shape. I'm not beating myself up about it, though, because for the past couple months school has been servin' me up raw. I've heard a bit recently on Facebook and LJ about this C25K thing, particularly from people who have never run before or who thought they hated running. After checking it out, it reaffirms what I intuitively do to get back into shape with running - run in small increments, then walk for a bit, then run again, and so on. I usually use my iPod and do something like this:

Run for two songs, walk for one, run for three songs, walk for one, run for another two songs, walk for one, run one song....and so on. In this way I can go for a LOT longer than I could if I just ran in one go until I got tired and then stopped (which, if I'm being honest, when I'm terribly out of shape would only be ten or fifteen minutes tops).

So I thought I might try the C25K plan to get back into running form, but I'm not sure I'm feeling the first few weeks of the plan, which is SUPER light on running and heavy on walking. (1 min. jog, two min. walk type of thing.) Good for someone who's been sedentary for years, but for me it's only been a few months since my last run, and I'm pretty sure I can handle a bit more intensity. Then again, today's a hot day and I've been sitting around eating candy all day, so I'll see how this goes...

3. A couple weeks ago a woman at one of my tables asked me, (and it really helps to imagine this in a thick Southern accent), "Honey, do you know who got eliminated this week on 'The Bachelorette'? I missed it." And I replied with something like, "Oh, if I start watching that show, I'm done for. I get way too addicted."

And it's true! I know it's probably the worst crap on TV short of 'The Real Housewives' (which I also soooorrrrt of get, but it has nowhere near the addictive effect on me), and I shouldn't freely admit this, but I find 'The Bachelor/Bachelorette' fantastically compelling. I justify it by calling it a sociological experiment, but seriously, I stand behind the affirmation that it's educational programming.

And damn that Alabama vacationer and ABC for putting all the episodes online. I got to thinking what I was missing this season, and of course, now I know who was eliminated.

But what I really want to talk about is that horrible shit show that was the Vienna/Jake showdown last night. Oh my God. That's what I mean when I say the show is educational - it teaches you the fastest way to ruin a relationship and humiliate yourself on TV. That interview was so horrifically painful to watch, but the reason it was so painful was because it actually rang uncomfortably true in terms of some of the typical miscommunication between men and women. Maybe it seems I'm giving this horrible slice of trash television way too much credit, but it had an element of familiarity:

An overly emotional and co-dependent female - childish, cares but almost desperately so. Like she doesn't really care about her man so much as she cares about clinging to the relationship and needing approval. The cold, selfish, controlling male, who doesn't view his 'partner' as an equal (maybe more like an accessory), demands respect, but doesn't seem to have an ounce of respect for her - delusional, completely unmoved by any emotion other than anger. God, I hated both of these two, but they also seemed poster-children for what the stereotypical men and women do to sabotage relationships.

It makes me appreciate my grown-up man - always ALWAYS considerate, generous, gentle, and kind. I experienced my share of relationship hysterics throughout my early and mid-twenties with various partners, and I take full responsibility for contributing to the demise of those relationships. Vienna's crying might appear a manipulative tactic, but I recognize the lack of control and...just weakness that comes from pathetically clinging to an unhealthy relationship, deluding yourself into believing it's worth saving when really you're both so much better off apart.

I think the smooth waters that D. and I find ourselves on (for now, knock on wood) comes as much from the maturity of age and experience as from anything easygoing in our natures. I'm not sure we're necessarily wonderful people who magically happen to be wonderful for each other so much as we learned our lessons the hard way and grew up a bit. Neither Vienna nor Jake appear to be mature enough for the kind of compassion and compromise that a successful marriage requires. I always marvel at people who get married in their late teens/early twenties and seem to maintain successful and happy relationships. How on earth could you go through all that natural turmoil of growing up and make it work with a whole other fucked-up person by your side?

In case you don't mind watching something that will make you want to shower afterward:

 
 
Mudface
29 June 2010 @ 10:34 pm


Day 1. Any dietary restrictions?
Day 2. Your favorite sweet dish.
Day 3. Your favorite savory dish.
Day 4. Your preferred degree of spiciness.
Day 5. Your signature dish.
Day 6. Are/were you a picky eater?
Day 7. Your favorite fruit.

I'm going to hold off on #6 until the next time I talk with my mom/dad on the phone. I think I was as picky an eater as any kid, but I'd like to hear from them on that. So, for now, I'll skip ahead to #7, my favorite fruit. And in fact, rather than answering this straight-up, I think I'll take a walk down memory lane, and talk about my firsts with fruits.

First time trying fresh coconut was sometime in elementary school when someone brought it in for show and tell or something. (I mean, there was a place for fresh coconuts in 1980s Minnesota grocery stores, but not in Terry family kitchens.) Must've tried my first mango around middle school. As a kid, I remember loving all berries, especially raspberries.

First time trying star fruit was as a college student in France. Passionfruit wasn't until New Zealand, and how could I have missed out for so long? In Japan it was loquat, yummm. Then in Vietnam a whole world of fruits opened up for me, including dragon fruit, mangosteen, rambutan, jackfruit, and the horrifying durian.

Then in Colombia more! Soursop, guayaba, lulo, chirimoya, feijoa, and a couple I can't seem to find online. (These little blueberry-sized tangy orange things. And this bizarre long dried seed-like thing that you broke open and ate creamy white custard inside.)

The climate here in Hawaii works for lots of different tropical fruits, and there's such a long history of immigrants planting trees from their home countries, so it's not hard to find many of these exotic fruits. Makes me want to go to a farmer's market soon...

Oh, and finally, my favorite fruit? I gotta say, even after all that, a really good raspberry still really does it for me. But most fruits do.

Day 8. Your preferred cooking technique.
Day 9. The kitchen of your dreams.
Day 10. Your favorite local fast food place.
Day 11. Your favorite snack.
Day 12. Your favorite fast food dish.
Day 13. The first dish you've ever prepared.
Day 14. Your favorite vegetable.
Day 15. Your most spectacular cooking failure.
Day 16. Your favorite food preparation utensil.
Day 17. Meals planned in advance or spur-of-the-moment ideas?
Day 18. The favorite dish of your childhood.
Day 19. Least favorite dish.
Day 20. A food preparation secret you'd like to learn.
Day 21. Your favorite dairy product.
Day 22. Variety or routine?
Day 23. Your favorite herb[s] and spice[s].
Day 24. Your favorite local restaurant.
Day 25. Haute cuisine or home cooking?
Day 26. If money was of no concern, would your eating habits change?
Day 27. Your usual way of dealing with leftovers.
Day 28. Your favorite beverage on a hot summer day.
Day 29. Lots of small snacks or three square meals a day?
Day 30. Are you comfortable with your relationship with food?
Tags:
 
 
Mudface
28 June 2010 @ 06:35 pm
What I do when I get so overwhelmed with school is to break everything down into manageable tasks (sometimes as vaguely as "CREDE paper, one hour" or "adolescent case study, one hour" and make a big, long list. Then in between each task, I break it up with something that recharges me, such as "clean the bathroom" or "go to the bank." (Pretty lame that those are the things that recharge me, but it just helps to turn off my brain and get the blood flowing sometimes.) Then I just alternate between things I HAVE to do and things that RECHARGE me until exhaustion. This weekend (my weekend) I have a list of 39 tasks, each of which takes approximately one hour. I've been whittling away at it all damn day, and have only crossed off 9 things. (Right now, update LJ is a recharger.) In between the 9 things, I also did a few things that weren't on the list: eat lunch, take shower, 30 minute nap, check Facebook. I wonder if between now (6.27pm) and tomorrow at, say, midnight I can finish the 30 more things left to do.

So, the topic of this entry is "update." What's new? Nothing. Boring. Mind is filled with student teacher BS, and BS it pretty much is. The whole program is an exercise in being vague, PC, and totally impractical. Whatever. One more year. I'm so excited to get back into a classroom where the real learning happens! Speaking of, while drifting off to napland today, I had an idea for a daily classroom activity - sort of a prompt to get the day going. It would be, maybe, 5% of the course grade that each student would have to choose a literary quote that meant something to them and recite it (perhaps required from memory, or as extra credit). I don't ever remember in any English classes much recitation of poetry (and anyway, reciting just any old poem would suck). But there's beauty in spoken word, and it would be fun to let students choose something beautiful and important to them. I'd start the first week off with my own examples - maybe the Kerouac dingledodies quote that strikes a chord in every 18 year-old.

D. has hatched a magical plan, I can't remember if I mentioned it. Okinawa. I'm looking into teaching positions with the Department of Defense. Who knows if it'll materialize, but it's exciting to imagine, and a fun brain exercise to return to studying Japanese. Note to self: replace crossword puzzles, chess, and other brain games with language learning. It's fun AND pays off.

I learned something about myself today. I had recorded a series of interviews I did with a 15 year-old as part of an assignment. We always hate our voices on tape, but I noticed something about myself that made me cringe even more. I need to be a better, calmer listener. ESPECIALLY as a teacher. I thought I was so well-trained with ESL students (and perhaps I would think differently of myself if the interview had been with one). No need to feel uncomfortable during pauses. Wait as long as it takes for an answer. The beauty of open-ended questions! Slow down and LISTEN. Take the little openings and run with them. All the stuff I thought I knew, I FAILED at in practice. I was too concerned she was bored or uncomfortable, and shuffled things along too quickly. In a word, I sucked. What was meant to be a case study of an adolescent turned into a good case study on myself, and how I need to better practice what I preach. I need to be calmer.

What else to update? I'm craving asparagus. Okay. I think that'll do. On to Task #10!

(Can't wait for time to run again and MOVIES!)
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